Last night's season premiere provided the usual formula for Bachelor/Bachelorette success--introduce us to the opening lineup of suitors, showcase the flakiest ones of the lot, re-emphasize how our eligible bachelor/bachelorette expects to find their true love amidst this crowd, and tempt us with glimpses of the drama to come.
In a bit of a plot twist last night, Jillian (of last season's Bachelorette) and Ed (her chosen one), surprised the women by showing up at the mega-mansion in order to quiz our 25 contestants. Not surprisingly, the "interviews" asked insightful and thoughtful questions like "what animal would you use to describe yourself in bed?" (Uh, is that while sleeping or otherwise?)
As the evening progressed, we found out who would play the role of the usual suspects--the naive, soft-hearted one (Tenley); the "I'm beautiful and you're not" fake (Rozlyn); the athletic, no-frills girl from the Midwest (Elizabeth from Nebraska); the "how could you say something that stupid" loser (Channing, who did not get a rose--naturally) and the requisite wild-eyed chaser who has issues (Michelle.)
So, in breaking down last night's premiere and what's to come with this season, we have:
- Jake receiving advice from Ed and Jillian, who told him to stay away from Michelle. So, who does Jake give the final rose to last night? Why, Michelle, of course, for we need that freaky girl to stay in the competition as long as possible in order to keep the drama quotient at a high level.
- The network's tempting us with an exposed affair, on set, by one of the contestants. What's left unsaid is who exactly said perpetrator is having an affair with--our bet is that it's with one of the crew members.
- The preview of Jake stalking out of a future scene, kicking over a light and saying "I'm done--I'm not giving out any roses tonight!"
Stay tuned, dear readers--this season's train ride, and ultimate train wreck, has only just begun.