You know the ones--the social media "friends" you have who seem to think that you and others can't wait to hear what they are preparing for dinner, what astonishing acts of virtuosity their children have accomplished, and where they are headed for their next dream vacation. Or, the ones on Twitter who can't squeeze their musings into 140 characters so thus create rambling, run-on tweets because their world just can't be contained to a few words.
I must admit that I'm more frequently having conversations with myself about all of the snarky things I could post in response to this self-absorbed blathering. Here's a random sample:
Post: For dinner, I'm preparing almondine trout with a dash of freshly grown thyme, complemented with fingerling potatoes glazed just right. My hubby just arrived home with a 2008 Pinot--one of our favorites from our most recent trip to Sonoma. It'll pair up nicely with what I'm serving!
Response: Yeah, that sounds pretty tasty. My wife's got some Spam in the frying pan and is planning to serve that over a bed of Rice-A-Roni. Now...that's good eatin'!
Post: I'm so proud of my Carter. We had our parent-teacher conference today and learned that he's well on his way to another semester of perfect A's even though he's the starting QB for the varsity and works weekends at the local homeless shelter. How much prouder could a Mom be?
Response: It sure must be nice to have a child who's *#%! don't stink. Our young 'un just interviewed to be a Tilt-A-Whirl operator at the upcoming Boone County Fair. We're pretty stoked.
Post: If you've never been to Aruba, you simply have to go! Hubby and I just got back from two weeks there and were in awe of the pristine beaches and the local cultural offerings. Our beachside bungalow allowed the nice ocean breeze to keep us comfortable.
Response: Ar-u-who? Is that the name of that big lake up in Iowa 'cause I hear the go-kart tracks there are world class. The missus and I would love to make it a couples getaway but the kids won't hear of it--go karts, bumper cars and tubin' is their idea of the perfect three-fer!
You get my point--while social media is a perfect way to reconnect, stay in touch and share family updates, it's also the picture window into a world of T-M-I. Yes, I know I can block these posts but how satisfying is that? The vindictive side of me wants to alert the offender and yell "enough!"
There's occasionally social media chatter about the need for an "unlike" button. Maybe we should change that to a "gag me" button.